The Bare Bum Incident

Can't wait to see what Google does with the name of this post! :)

Today we had our first "Bare Bum Incident". I know there are some who are cringing at the sound of the word bum, but really I'm a body part name prude and there just isn't any gettin' over it for me. Anyway... I was talking on the phone with my mother and out of the corner of my eye I saw Parker's shiney white hiney as he mooned his sister and then registered hearing their giggles about the whole thing. Listen... it's not funny... I mean it! You can imagine the haste with which I got off the phone. The next few minutes went something like this:

Parker! What are you doing showing Lexi your bare bottom?

(Visibly cringing cause he knows he's in trouble.) I don't know.

Where did you get that idea? Where did you see that? Who showed you that?

(The tears are emerging now.) It just came in my mind to do it.

Parker that is not okay. We do not show our bare bum to anyone. Our bottom is a private part. We don't show our private parts to anyone - and especially not to be silly.

(Snot and sniffles are now appearing.) Okay mom.

Parker do you understand what private means? It means something we keep to our selves and not share with others. Parker listen to me. It is not a funny joke to show your bare bum to your sister, okay?

Mom, what's bare mean?

It means not covered with clothes. It means that your bottom was naked.

Okay mom (This time with a little smirk. Is this child really not taking me seriously? Okay I suppose we need something to help him remember that I am dead serious about this.)

Parker I think since you think it is a silly joke to show off your bare bum then you better come over and you are getting a bare bum spankin'. (The tears and bargaining start for real now.)

That's over and we hug it out and then talk about it a little more seriously this time. I think he gets it and I dry his tears, snot and slobber and send him in to apologize to Alexia and then to Jesus too. I love the I'm sorry, please forgive me prayers he offers.

An hour goes by. The "Bare Bum Incident" is forgotten as I make cookies for the family reunion that I am in charge of and heading to tomorrow. All of the sudden his question pops into my mind... "Mom what does bare mean?"

Parker, come in here for a minute please. Hey hon, when you asked me what bare meant, what did you think I was saying when I said bare bum?

He giggled and got his silly four year old boy grin on his face and said, "My Teddy Bear's bum. Now that would be a funny joke huh mom."